What Was I Thinking?

Last week I had the pleasure of working with a brand new client, C..  She wandered into StyleFinder and quickly told me, “I need help!”  I was excited to let her know that she had come to the right place and that, yes, we could indeed help her find casual clothing to wear on the weekends that actually looked good!

After a couple of questions, and a few minutes to pull items that I thought would work for her, she was off and running.  As C. began to try things on, I could see the relief on her face.  She was filled with gratitude as she found item after item that worked for her.  As I added in a few simple accessories that really made the outfit, I could see a sense of calm wash over her.  

C. candidly told me, that after most of her shopping trips, she gets home and asks herself, “What was I thinking?”  Her poor choices led her to feel overwhelmed and she lost confidence in her ability to choose clothing for herself.  When she saw how easily I could put things together that worked for her, she knew she had come to the right place!

In my ten years of style coaching, I have heard many women ask themselves this same question.  Are you asking yourself this too?

Style can seem like a complicated and overwhelming proposition.  With so many choices available, it can be challenging to know which one is right for you.  Oftentimes, clients resort to what they already know, or what they have seen their friends wear without any regard as to whether it’s right for them.  Then when it comes time to get dressed and they put on these pieces that don’t fit, don’t flatter and don’t do anything for them, they feel disillusioned, disappointed and disgusted.

But wait!, don’t give up yet!

Knowing what to wear and what’s right for you is exactly what we teach at StyleFinder.  I want to share my best tips with you for avoiding making poor choices when you shop.  Follow these guidelines and you’ll never again ask yourself, “What was I thinking?”

1/ Just Because it’s Right for your Friends does NOT Mean it’s Right for You – It can be hard to keep up with what’s on trend, or what’s right for you at a new age, and it’s perfectly normal to look to your friends for style advice.  I have seen all too often how misleading this can be, though!  Say Sally shows up at a party wearing a very chic dress that just looks spot-on for her!  She exudes confidence and is at ease at the same time!  It can be perfectly natural for you to want to go out and find the exact same dress for your next event.  But wait!  Sally’s coloring is different from yours.  And she’s built differently, with a few sizes and quite a bit of height difference between you.  Plus, you’re much more conservative in your clothing choices than she is.  So when you put on said dress, you’re going to feel all wrong.  But you may feel as if you should buy the dress because you want to feel just like Sally felt when she wore it.  So you take the plunge, even though in your heart of hearts you know it’s not right for you.  Youpull it out for your next event, but just don’t feel like you’d like to. It’s a bit tight, not the right color and you end up pulling at it all night.  You’re edgy because the dress isn’t really you, and you can’t wait to get home and take it off.  What were you thinking?

Solution: Take cues from Sally’s fabulous dress, but take the time to learn what’s right for you.  Would a different color be more flattering?  Would a sheath be better than a fit and flare?  Would a V-neck work better than a round neckline?  Making small shifts to find your best look will result in you duplicating Sally’s confidence and ease, while feeling more like YOU in the dress!

2/ Just Because You’ve Always Worn it Doesn’t Make it Right – You’ve always worn boat shoes.  Your mother taught you to always wear a twinset.  You’ve always gravitated to black pants because you didn’t know what else to choose.  You’ve always worn a certain style and can’t imagine wearing anything else.

Things change.  Your body, for one, is constantly changing.  Your age.  Your style.  I hate to break it to you, but at some point in your life, wearing what you’ve always worn will no longer serve you.  A client of mine, let’s call her B., has has fallen into this trap more times than she’d like to count.  She used to be a size 4, and could shop anywhere, anytime.  She looked good in everything!  But with a few years, a few pounds and a whole new shape to consider, what worked for her years ago is no longer flattering.  Her waistline used to be defined, with gentle curves for her hips and bustline.  A peplum top used to be the bomb on her, and paired with a pencil skirt, she looked – and felt – amazing!  Yet today, her waistline isn’t as shapely as it used to be and a column dress is much more flattering.  While she might fight it initially, eventually she comes to realize that it’s time for some new rules.

Solution: Take stock of who you are right now.  Do those tops you’ve loved and worn for years still look good on you?  Or are they too boxy now, making you look heavier than you are?  Does your coveted twinset look chic, or does it cut you off in all the wrong places, making you look matronly?  Take time out to understand what’s right for you, right now.  Finding some new favorites, rewriting your own fashion rules, and wearing only what makes you look and feel amazing, right now, will be key to helping you look polished and put-together.  Book a personal style session with one of our coaches, or come in and let our Stylista’s work their magic to dress you as you are, right now.  

3/ If it Doesn’t Feel Right, Don’t Wear It! – In the boutique, we pay close attention to how a woman feels when she comes out of the fitting room.  Not just physically, but emotionally too.  This tells us much more than words ever could.  Like the time Nancy came out of the fitting room after first trying on our liquid leather jacket.  The look on her face told me that she felt amazing!  Like the woman she always wanted to be, and more connected to herself.  Or the time Diane came out with a look of disgust because the top she was trying on felt all wrong to her.  The flounces and ruffles were so not her style and she knew it!

Solution: Learn to trust your intuition.  Shopping with friends and other well-meaning sales associates often increases your risk of making bad choices.  Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you overshadow how you want to look and feel.  We tell our clients all the time that if it doesn’t feel right, then it’s not right, and we will give you honest advice.  When you can determine this in the fitting room before you make a purchase, then you’ll save yourself a TON of money, time and frustration.  If you need support, come into StyleFinder Boutique and let us guide you towards what’s right, helping you to understand your best looks.     

Shopping doesn’t have to be a dreadful experience, resulting in a closet filled with clothes that you can’t stand to wear.  With a little planning and a few guidelines in your arsenal, you can become an expert at knowing what you love, and what to stay away from.  With these tools, you’ll no longer ask yourself, “What was I thinking?”  You’ll simply smile because you made the right choices to begin with.  

*Need help?  Our expertly trained Stylista’s and Certified Style Coaches can help you to be your best YOU in 2018.  Guiding you towards what’s right for you, and keeping you from making purchases you’ll regret, our team is here to help save you time, money and frustration.  Book your appointment today at 919-454-3068 and make 2018 a year to remember for all the right reasons!



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